Post-laundry day fallout

I'm not sure if it can be statistically proven, but I have a hunch that the day after laundry day may be one of the biggest low self-esteem days around. For me at least, the herculean task of washing the accumulated dirty duds of two fairly-messy pack rats always results in a dangerously over-filled laundry basket full of clothing that just won't fit right the next day. Now I know many will say that this all can be avoided by hanging one's clothing to dry rather than throwing them in the dryer, but there are many reasons why this is problematic for me.
First and foremost, it seems that everything I do choose to air dry (mainly my jeans and other bottoms) still shrinks anyway; the blessing that is stretch fabric tends to expand and contract through their life cycle of washing and wearing until perfume will no longer mask the funk. Yes, this may sound a bit gross, but when one has to retrain their stretch jeans every time one cleans them, the desire for medical-grade cleanliness dies quickly. 'Don't by stretch clothing,' you say? In a perfect world (and a perfect body) this would work out, but the truth of the matter is, until the 'baby factory' cut replaces 'low-rise' in terms of trendiness, my shopping patterns will be stuck hovering over the 'stretch/plush sized' area.
A second major issue that blocks my mission to control my clothing shrinkage is the fact that we live in a 900 square foot condo. When one lacks any space to even hang one's dry clothing, it becomes pretty difficult to find places where one can lay out one's wet garments. Needless to say, by the time we decide to move again, all of hinges on our cabinet doors will need to be replaced due to the wear and tear they've incurred while fulfilling their duty as ersatz drying racks.
So, until I magically shrink myself, or grow my condo, I am stuck having to execute copious amounts of squats throughout that first day after laundry day, until the stretch fabric chooses to comply with the demands that my various curves make of it. Eventually something will give; hopefully not the seams in my capris...

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